Blog - Page 2 of 4 - Teen Charge

5 Reasons Why You (yes, YOU) should join Teen…

By Emily F, Brand Rep

Skill Sharing
- You get to make lots of content from Tiktoks to poetry and you get to use your personal skills to get your messages out.
Great Environment
- The adults running the program are so kind and the teens involved are fun. There is never a dull moment!
Service hours
- Teen CHARGE is a great way to earn service hours because not only do you have meetings every other week, but you also get opportunities to go out and serve in the community.
Amazing Opportunities
- Teens involved in Teen CHARGE are invited to lots of cool events around West Michigan. This year we were given the chance to be interviewed on TV!
Because, why not?
- We are always looking for fun creative teens to share their ideas and stories and you might just make an amazing brand rep!

Are you interested in becoming a Brand Rep for the 2021-22 school year? Fill out the application here! https://bit.ly/3gAiHZ4 Applications for this school year are due September 13th!

Mental Health

speak out

By Natalee D, Teen CHARGE Brand Rep

we are told to speak up

have courage

be honest

it won’t hurt you

but do they not realize

the fear

judgement

or discrimination that could come from our honesty

and so called “courage”

we are told that our feelings are valid

people want to help you

but when the time does come

to speak up and speak out

we are told you’re fine

it’s just a bad day

you’re so dramatic

everyone has those feelings

others have it way worse

don’t be so sad and negative

all the time

so are our feelings really valid

once we open up

we’re too much

and are told to suck it up

Author statement: In this poem, I wanted to express how teens may feel when talking about their mental health. I have a few short statements on their own line to emphasize the depth of those feelings. I wrote this poem on a plane and I was simply thinking about how mental health is impacting teens today. With COVID, everyone has been impacted and it’s been a crazy year for the entire world. Teens are encouraged to ask for help but after they do, they feel pressure and insecurities from the responses they receive. Like stated at the end of my poem, once teens are honest with themselves and others about how they may feel or think; society and people teens may look up to almost degrade their feelings. I wanted to bring awareness for those who don’t realize how someone with a mental illness may feel. I also wanted to attempt to put into words for people who can’t explain what they really may be feeling after asking for the help everyone is encouraged to ask for.

Editor Note:

Here at Teen CHARGE, our goal is to raise awareness of common issues faced by teens. If you struggle with depression or other mental health concerns, it’s important to know that help is out there. Below are some resources for teens in the Kent County and surrounding areas:

@Network180 | www.network180.org | 616.336.3909

@211 | www.211.org|211

@Wedgwood Christian Services | www.wedgwood.org | 616.942.7294

About the Author: Hi everyone, I’m Natalee and I decided to join Teen CHARGE for the summer as a way to bring awareness to teens or really anyone who feels trapped in their own head. Poetry has become a big part of my life this year. I’ve grown to enjoy it, whether I’m reading or writing it. I think it’s an amazing way to express yourself in a simpler way and to reach anyone and everyone. I use poetry as an escape from reality and to get my intrusive thoughts out of my system. During this past year, my sophomore year, my English teacher helped me grow in my love for poetry and writing all together. As I go into my junior year and start thinking about what I’ll be doing after high school, I hope I am able to reach people in need. I’m excited to be writing and helping with Teen CHARGE.

Parents

Teens & Social Media pt. 2

By Gina Boscarino, Teen CHARGE Staff

Two years ago (when I wrote the first blog entry in this series), I had no idea how much things were about to change. Within 10 months, the world had shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and social media became a lot more than just a way to pass the time. For many people, social media was the easiest way to stay in touch with family and friends during quarantine; in a time where people felt increasingly isolated, social media provided an opportunity to connect.

This was especially true for teens, many of whom had no opportunity to just chat with other kids their age. A lot of them started to explore different apps and ways of making connections. Some of these (SnapChat, Instagram, TikTok) were already well known to parents, but there are others that adults may not be aware of. In this blog entry, I’m going to talk about three different types of apps that are popular with teens today, as well as potential concerns that parents should know about.

Random Chat Apps

Examples: MeetMe, Holla

Random Chat Apps are exactly what they sound like- apps designed to connect users with other people for text (or more often) video chats. However, not all of these apps are completely random; many of them use GPS to connect you with someone in your area, while others match users based on shared interests.

Any app that matches your adolescent with a complete stranger via video chat, is bound to be problematic. Based on what I’ve heard from the teens I work with, there is a lot of nudity and exposure that takes place on these apps. Because the chats are random, users have no way to vet the person they are about to speak to.

While these apps may seem like harmless fun, not everyone who uses them is looking for innocent conversation. Encourage teens to stay away from these apps in favor of chatting with people they actually know in real life.

2. Livestreaming Apps

Examples: Twitch, Youtube Live, TikTok Live

Apps with live streaming capabilities can present a whole host of problems- from cyber bullying to sexual exploitation. As I talked about in my previous article, the teen brain is especially sensitive to reward. Kids may find themselves doing or saying things they wouldn’t normally do in order get more views, likes, or followers. Predators take advantage of this by offering kids gifts or money to perform sexual acts. Many apps allow viewers to send “donations” to streamers directly through the app.

Of course, these days nearly all social media apps have some kind of live-streaming capability. If your teen or tween wants to try live-streaming, make sure they do it on an app with privacy settings that allow only trusted friends and family to view the video.

3. Self-Destructing Apps

Examples: SnapChat, WhatsApp (using ‘View Once’ settings), Telegram

This one is kind of a broad category, but basically a self-destructing app is any app in which messages disappear (think Snapchat). This opens up a lot of dangerous possibilities, including uses for sexting. And while your child may not be using the app for any nefarious purposes, keep in mind that doesn’t mean that others won’t be. Your child may receive inappropriate photos they didn’t ask for.

Self-destructing messaging apps can also be the source of a lot of drama. Think about how cruel people can be when they’re insulting someone on the internet from behind a computer screen. People can be even worse when they don’t think there’s going to be a record of what they’re saying. I’ve known of several instances where one teen threatened another teen using one of these apps, and even though the incident was reported, there wasn’t much that parents or school staff could do because there was no record to show that the threat actually occurred.

Use your best judgment to decide whether or not to allow your teen to use apps with self-destructing message capabilities. Spend some time talking with them about why and how they plan to use it. Make sure they know that people can still take a screenshot of pictures and messages that are sent through these apps. Above all, let them know what your expectations are, as well as your concerns.

With new apps coming out every day, it’s important for parents to stay informed about the latest trends. For more information, check out the following websites:

commonsensemedia.org

www.protectyoungeyes.com

https://www.internetmatters.org/

Uncategorized

The Empowerment of Positive Self-Talk

What is the last thing you said to yourself about yourself? Was it positive or negative? Or maybe somewhere in between? Were these thoughts constructive or deconstructive? Moving forward, these are important questions to challenge yourself to ask daily. The conscious thoughts we create have a significant impact on our well-being, and over time, they shape us into who we are and what we do.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring real problems and living in ignorant bliss; it means having the courage to approach any type of situation, even the negative ones, in an efficient and productive way. Let’s face it- negative thoughts always seem to arise as instinct, as we cannot suppress what is human. However, reframing these negative thoughts from “why didn’t I…” into “next time I can…”, will create a world of difference in the home that is our mind.

According to the ¹Mayo Clinic, reframing negative thoughts and incorporating positive ones creates lower depression and distress levels among all age groups, a greater resistance to the common cold (crazy, right?!), and builds better coping skills during hardships and stressful times, among many other benefits. Shifting to conscious, positive thinking can be difficult; after all, you’re creating a new habit. With time, patience, and dedication, this shift is entirely possible even for the most pessimistic thinkers. The Mayo Clinic has also compiled a helpful list of ways to help you shift to more positive thinking. Start small: focus on one area of your life you tend to have negative thoughts towards, whether it be work, school, a relationship, or a personal problem. Until you feel that you’ve become proficient (not perfect) at thinking positively in this area of your life, keep focusing on it! Practice makes permanent, and permanent healthy habits create a healthy life.

After you’ve decided to make the conscious effort to practice positive self-talk, check yourself periodically throughout the day. It sounds silly, but stopping and asking yourself, “What have my thoughts consisted of today?” and “Did these thoughts make me feel good or bad?” can help you stay on the right track to reaching your positive self-talk goals. Surrounding yourself with supportive and helpful people is also part of the commitment to positive thinking. Your thoughts are significantly affected by the comments and actions made by those close to you. A conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people will help you to create a beneficial way of thinking.

Mayo Clinic’s last tip is to actively practice positive self-talk. Don’t think or say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Your mind is your space- make it comfortable and a place where you can grow! Pick out a daily affirmation you like, and repeat it to yourself at some point in your day. It’s easiest to incorporate your affirmation into a bedtime or early morning routine. Talking to yourself is a great way to set goals for your day, or reflect upon how the day went.

Shifting the way you think isn’t easy- it’s a process and it will take time. Learning new things is so important to our health, especially learning positive self-talk! We will always have negative thoughts, no matter how much we’ve trained our brains, and that’s ok. However, knowing that we have a way to reframe these thoughts in a positive way is a tool that anyone can use to better their wellbeing. The general goal of positive thinking is to slowly let go of self-criticism, and create more self-acceptance. We have the power within us to create the life, and the mind we choose. Your mind is your home: cherish it, protect it, grow it.

-Written by Cami M, Teen CHARGE Brand Rep

¹Mayo Clinic Staff. (2020, January 21). Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Mental Health

Dealing with Stress and Anxiety During a Pandemic

In a world of six foot bubbles, face coverings, and inescapable amounts of screen time, our mental and emotional health is at risk now more than ever. Feelings such as fear, stress, and anxiety can be intense, and working from home is isolating- especially since the things that once kept us busy, such as sports, jobs, and clubs have been halted.

Luckily, there are many ways we can teach our body to combat these feelings of stress and anxiety. Setting aside and dedicating time to ourselves and our mental health can be a difficult thing to remember to do, but even just ten minutes a day can make a considerable impact on our well-being. There are so many ways to care for ourselves mentally, such as: meditation, journaling, and physical exercise. There are also ways to combat in-the-moment-stress, such as the learned Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

Meditation

Meditation is often thought of as something only for the experienced practitioners. But let me ask you, how do you think they became experienced? Meditation can be as simple as finding a comfortable sitting position, and finding steady rhythm in your breathing. Meditation can be so grounding, and really helps to form a connection between your body and mind.

When the body and mind are connected and acknowledged, there are innumerable benefits, such as increased focus and motivation, and decreased muscle tension. Meditation can be so relaxing, and often that’s all our body needs: a little relaxation to loosen up those muscles you’ve been tirelessly using. So take a break and practice your breath work, you deserve it!

Journaling

The written word is one of the most powerful of things to culminate from human history. When the thoughts we have are constantly being churned and swirled in our minds, it can be beneficial to write those things down. The physical act of writing in itself can help to reduce stress, and often when we write our thoughts, we come to new revelations. Writing down ourthoughts can be symbolic of actually letting them go, which can be extremely helpful when the thoughts we have cause us stress and anxiety.

Exercise

The health of your mind has much to do with the health of your body. Go out and move it! Any form of physical exercise such as walking, biking, practicing yoga, or playing sports has been proven to reduce stress and increase attention and focus. Even movements as stationary as stretching are important, and can help to increase the connection between mind and body. Exercising is a great way to take your mind off any stress or anxiety you may have, and many find it relaxing for the mind, as well.

Emotional Freedom Techniques

Sometimes there are moments in our day which can be exhausting or stressful, and in these moments we can’t necessarily drop everything and meditate or pull out a journal to write. These moments of stress can be best combated by something I’ve researched and used, called Emotional Freedom Techniques 1 . Founded by researcher Gary Craig in the 90s and championed by one of my favorite Yogi’s, Parvati Shallow, EFT consists of small actions called “tapping”, which focus on the meridian lines that are believed to be hotspots of energy within the body.

The first step of EFT (tapping) is to identify what it is that is causing you to be stressed, and then follow up with some statement of encouraging self-acceptance. For example, “Even though [insert situation] is causing me stress, I truly and deeply love and accept myself”. Once you’ve identified the mantra you’ll use, you can begin tapping on the specified meridian points to balance the energy in your body.

Common meridian points to tap include the top of your head, the inside corner of the eyebrow, under the eye, on the chin, under the armpit, and the beginning of the collarbone. The most common and inconspicuous spot is the “karate chop”, which is the outside of the hand below the pinky. Simply tapping on these points of the body with your hand and repeating your mantra, either inside your head or out loud, has been proven to significantly reduce stress and anxiety in all age groups and levels of psychological stress. The repetitive nature of tapping and reciting helps to provide reaffirmations of self-love and acceptance, and creates an atmosphere for the mind to reassess the situation it is in.

Mental health is such an important topic, and is something that needs to be talked about openly and more regularly. By practicing some form of self-care you’re not only benefiting yourself, but you are helping to create a society in which forms of mental health care are normalized in our everyday routine. Taking care of ourselves is crucial to our wellbeing, especially while we endure this global pandemic. Please know that you deserve a break, and you deserve time each day that is dedicated to yourself. You have earned it!

-Written by Cami M., Teen CHARGE Brand Rep

1 https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping#bottom-line

Teens

College Prep Advice

Junior Year is a chaotic one for most students. In addition to preparing for your numerous state-mandated standardized tests, you also need to balance normal school life, extracurriculars, and (for many students) getting ready to apply to colleges. This can be a really stressful time for many and, as it is a process that many others have gone through, they try to give their best advice. At my school, they provide Juniors an opportunity to take a class about the college application process, life post-high school, and SAT prep. It was only a one trimester class, and I figured that it was worth a shot to at least try. (At least if I didn’t learn anything, that classroom was right by the cafeteria and I was taking it during the lunch hour.) Despite the number of my classmates that griped and groaned about the class, I do feel like I learned some valuable things from the class. That is why I am here. Even if this gets lost to the wind, I want to try and share some of these things that I learned in that class with others. Since I am taking these things from a very lecture-based class, I can’t provide a ton of extra resources, but I tried to find what I could. Be sure to keep in mind, everyone’s situation is different so everyone’s experience on this will be different.

Test Scores Aren’t Always Needed

This one comes as a shock to many people. High schools tend to put a ton of emphasis on these standardized tests and while many colleges do require them, there are alternatives. Many schools offer options to either get around the testing requirement or are completely test-optional and you don’t have to submit a score. Test optional schools will allow you to do this for any reason whether it be that they don’t reflect your true learning capabilities or you just simply didn’t want to take it. While it is good to double-check with specific colleges on what their specific testing policy is, FairTest provides a highly accurate list of test-optional schools.

It’s All About Perspective

You don’t have to be top of your class to get into your top college. For the numbers game part of your application, it is just about hitting higher than the average at that specific college. When looking at data like GPA and Standardized Test Scores, colleges will commonly provide data for both of these, including where the 25^th and 75^th percentiles hit. These are the scores/GPAs that people need to hit to rank at or better than 25% or 75% of their classmates. To draw the admissions officer’s attention to your application, you want to try to hit about in the middle of these two numbers (The 50^th percentile). To really have it stand out (if this is the route you are choosing to go), try to score/earn higher than the 75^th Percentile. This can be very confusing, so I will provide a real-life example:

Michigan State University is a very popular public university that many students in the area like to apply to, so I choose this as my example school. I googled ‘msu sat score percentiles’ and the first result was a PrepScholar (A highly reliable test prep company)

score report (Linked at the bottom). Among other stats, there is a chart, almost right off the bat, containing SAT score data. It breaks it down into the two main SAT categories, Math and Reading+Writing, as well as an overall total. It then lists the average (50^th percentile), 25^th Percentile, and 75^th Percentile. In this case, the average total score is 1210, with the 25^th percentile at 1120 and the 75^th at 1310. These would be the numbers to keep in mind as you prepped for the test ahead.

You Don’t Have to Take Every Honors and AP Course

This one tends to cater to those that are going for more competitive colleges. However, not all of these schools look at how many honors and AP classes you took in high school. Some look at a trend of improving grades while others look at your GPA. Only the most competitive schools (i.e. Ivy League members) might consider these as highly valuable. It will depend on what school you are looking at, and some don’t even accept AP credits. Something like this is pretty much a case by case situation so it is always good to check in with the school that you are looking at.

There are Alternates to College

Many students will either go to college, join the military, or go directly into the workforce after high school. However, there is another option! Trade Schools, also known as Vocational Schools, are also an amazing post high school option. These schools specialize in training you for one specific job. Programs include things like plumbing, auto repair, HVAC, and welding. They are commonly cheaper and quicker than college and many will allow you to head into your new profession right out of school. Many of these jobs also pay extremely well and are in high demand right now. Easywork.net has a good article covering in-demand jobs as well as more information on them.

This is Your Time to Shine!

Colleges really do want to hear about you. The admissions process is not just a numbers game and character is very important to the places that you apply to. Don’t be afraid to brag about yourself! Did you take a cool trip or have a unique skill that you are proud of? Tell them! Tell colleges all about these little things that make you, you! They want to know that you are more than just a one-dimensional person without much to you. If there were circumstances that didn’t allow you to take all the classes you wanted, affected your grades, or prevented you from doing extracurriculars definitely share that as well! Family Situations, working, or other circumstances that cut into your time are just as welcome on college applications. It helps the colleges understand you just a bit better and to see the person behind the numbers, especially in these odd times.

Summer is almost over now, as much as we would like to deny it. For incoming seniors, applications will soon be due and within the next few months, we will know how the next chapter in our lives will begin. For incoming juniors, you will start to think about these things, maybe for the first time, and begin to start to plan out the path ahead. I will not mince words: It is crazy, and it is terrifying. I just hope that I was able to help.

There are some additional resources that I wanted to provide that just didn’t fit inside the main points that I brought up. The site Niche provides a pretty good college checklist that takes you from spring your junior year until acceptance. This has definitely helped me keep track of all of the dates and things during this process, so I highly recommend that you check it out. Niche also gives college ‘report cards’ scoring universities on a variety of categories while providing some good information on them. Finally, the College Board provides a college search tool that gives you dates, admissions information, target test scores and GPA, among other things. I wish you all a happy summer and good luck with your college admissions process!

-Kelsey M, Teen CHARGE Brand Rep

Links:

FairTest Test-Optional Schools: https://www.fairtest.org/university/optional

Easywork.net Trade Jobs: https://www.easyworknet.com/business/top-7-best-skilled-trade-jobs-demand-2019/#:~:text=7%20Trade%20Jobs%20in%20Demand%20for%202019%201,…%206%20HVAC.%20…%207%20Elevator%20Installing.%20

MSU PrepScholar Score Report: https://www.prepscholar.com/sat/s/colleges/Michigan-State-SAT-scores-GPA#:~:text=Michigan%20State%20SAT%20Score%20Analysis%20%28New%201600%20SAT%29,1310%20will%20move%20you%20up%20to%20above%20average.

Niche College Prep Checklist: https://www.niche.com/blog/your-2019-checklist-for-getting-into-college-ordered-chronologically/

Niche: https://www.niche.com/

College Board College Search: https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/find-colleges

Teens

The Freshman 15: Fifteen Tips for New College Students

Freshman 15: 15 tips for new college students

Most of the time when we hear this phrase, we are worried about the notorious weight gain that comes during your first year of college. And while it is important for not only your physical but mental health to eat well and exercise, there are a few more things you should know before starting your first year of college.

1. Try to not to over pack:

– It may seem like you’ll need 40 different outfits, but trust me if you have a rotating schedule of leggings/sweatpants/and sweatshirts you’ll be just fine.

2. Don’t schedule that 8 am class (unless you have to):

– Yes, you went to high school every morning at the crack of dawn but in college, that 8 am class hits way different. Unless you are super disciplined it can feel almost impossible to get up for any class that early!

3. Challenge yourself to try new things:

– College in itself is one huge pool of “new things”. Some of my fondest college memories would not have happened had I not pushed myself out of my comfort zone. Be open and willing to join new groups, talk to different people and attend cool events on campus.

4. Become friends with your RA:

– As a former RA (Resident Assistant) befriending or at least creating a positive relationship with your RA can take you a long way. These assistants are put on your floor to help you adjust and to guide you through the twist and turns of college, reach out to them!

5. Go to office hours:

– Office hours are times when you can go into your professor’s office and get extra help outside of class. Once I got to know my professors better, extra help even translated into mentorship. This will not only improve your grades, but it also shows your professors that you care about your academic career.

6. Address Roommate Conflict when it happens:

– Roommate conflicts can make your living experience awful. Depending on your space and how many roommates you have, if there is ever any conflict, address it! Whether it is a dirty bathroom or setting clearer boundaries with having friends over, it matters and it will only get worse if you don’t speak up for yourself. If you are nervous to approach the situation on your own, ask your RA to help mediate a conversation.

7. Find an organization to be a part of:

– Joining a club or organization can be super intimidating, but if you find something you really like, it can be super enjoyable and you are more likely to find good friends that enjoy the same things as you!

8. Study at the lib, not your bed:

– It can be so tempting to lay in your bed and study, but believe me that your studying will quickly turn into a nap, or Netflix or anything that is actually not studying. Go to the library, utilize the desk in your room or use other study areas around campus.

9. Find cheap textbooks

– Textbooks can be an annoying additional charge and I’m going to give you a huge tip that will help you not spend tons of money. Get your book list before your classes start (or the first week) and ORDER ONLINE. I have always used (slugbooks.com) it compares all of the cheapest option for you to purchase your textbook.

10. Take care of your mental health

– The stress of school, friends and the adjustment into young adulthood can be overwhelming to say the least. Remember to take care of yourself. This means finding healthy outlets for your mind. Examples can be: daily exercise, journaling, yoga/meditation, going to church or another spiritual service. Whatever brings you peace and positively impacts you, do it. Prioritize your mental well-being.

11. Learn how to budget

– I am still learning how to do this as a post-grad 20-something but learning how to budget will prep you for adulthood and will make sure you have the money you need for things. So yes, get Taco Bell every once and awhile but also be conscious of how much you’re spending on small things. They add up very quickly.

12. Take advantage of free events on campus:

– So what can you do if your budget is tight and you can’t afford to go to the movies? Take advantage of free campus events! During my four years of school, I went to fashion shows, saw magicians, and got to watch movies just to name a few.

13. Don’t let your grades define your worth

– Your grades do determine what your GPA is but they don’t determine your worth. All you are able to control is trying your absolute best and putting in the work. Go to every class, and seek help elsewhere when necessary. Professors will notice the effort you are putting in and will do everything they can do to help you succeed.

14. Utilize campus resources:

– There are so many great resources on campus. Explore them! You’ll likely have a career center, tutoring, counseling services, academic support and the list goes on. Just about anything you need is accessible if you utilize it!

15. Take it one day at a time

– Sometimes it can be really hard. As you grow into young adulthood it can be extremely confusing. Above all, my last advice for you is to take it one day at a time. Wake up and try your best. Go to class. Step out of your comfort zone. Meet new people and enjoy your new independence. Those four years will go by quickly, how will you spend them?

-Lexi, Teen CHARGE Staff

Teens

Surrounding Yourself with People Who Care

As a teen with anxiety, it is really important for me to surround myself with friends that care for me. Now, I’m not talking about spoon feeding you baby food or helping you cross the street. I’m talking about friends that will check up on you.

Having friends that will check up on you is very important for your mental health. For me, when my anxiety starts to surface and my thoughts start to race, having someone ask me if I’m okay makes me feel wanted and calms me down.

Now, I’m not saying go and find someone with the exact same experiences as you. I’m telling you to find some good people to hang around with. If your friends don’t want to talk to you about certain topics, maybe it’s time to have a conversation with them. Talk to them, express what you are feeling. Sometimes they don’t realize that they aren’t being supportive enough, and that’s okay. That’s why communication is so vital in relationships with your peers.

Here are some tips to finding good friends for you:

Be open.

If you walk around closed-minded, you aren’t going to get too far with people. Open your mind to meeting new people, and I’m sure you’ll find someone new.

Don’t judge.

As a soon-to-be sophomore, I had to read To Kill a Mockingbird for English class. One quote that really stuck out to me was from Atticus Finch. He said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” (Lee, 63). Like Atticus said, you can’t judge someone until you put yourself in their shoes. Especially in today’s time, people have become very good at hiding things. Whether it be mental illness or just family issues, you never know their full story. Don’t judge someone you’ve never met, you might just lose someone that could’ve been your best friend.

Be yourself.

When you go to make friends, don’t approach people as someone that you aren’t. If you want people to get to know you, you have to let them see the real you. People don’t want to discover that you are the exact opposite of who they thought you were when they met you. Be honest, be yourself.

I’m not making promises that these three things are going to give you everything you want, but it’s a sure start. Just remember that sometimes what you need most is sitting right under your nose.

-Emily F., Teen CHARGE Brand Rep

Teens

Dealing with Toxic Friends

Editor’s Note: A toxic friendship is a friendship which is more harmful than helpful. It is an emotionally draining relationship that is not healthy for either person. See what one of our Teen CHARGE Brand Reps had to say about toxic friendships and how to deal with them.

I have been in many toxic friendships before and they can really challenge your self confidence and self-image. Today I will be teaching you how to deal with toxic friendships.

1. Determine if you are in a toxic friendship

The first thing I do when I feel I am trapped in a toxic friendship is to figure out how and why I got in it. Then I take a step back to figure out if I am getting hurt or if I could get hurt. If the answer is yes, I talk to a trusted adult or parent about what they would do.

Editor’s Note: There are many signs that you could be in a toxic friendship, but one of the biggest signs is how you feel after spending time with them. A friend who makes you feel lonely, stressed, drained, or not good enough is probably toxic.

2. Talk to the person in private

I would not recommend talking to them in front of people because they might get defensive and that could lead to other problems. Pull them aside and ask if you did something wrong, or what it is that is causing them to treat you this way. If they answer that you did do something wrong, ask what you can do to resolve it.

Editor’s Note: All friends have disagreements and misunderstandings! It’s important to determine if your friend is upset and acting out of anger (in which case you may be able to save the relationship) or if their toxic behavior is part of a pattern.

3. Leave the friendship without being rude.
If you are unable to resolve the issue after talking to them, you may need to leave the friendship. Be one hundred percent honest and straightforward. If you are not honest with them, they may hesitate or try to convince you to change your mind.

Lastly, once you have left the relationship, do not look back, no matter what. If you doubt yourself, you may go back and get stuck in that friendship all over again.

I hope that helped you out. It helped me out when I was in that spot. The one spot that I would really point out is taking a step back and looking at the problem. Once again, I hope that helped!

-Anonymous Teen CHARGE Summer Brand Rep

Teens

5 Tips for Body Confidence

You’re on your phone scrolling through Instagram, and you find yourself looking at post after post of celebrities, models, or just people you know with the “perfect body” that you wish you had. You go to the beach with friends and find yourself wishing you looked more like them and less like you. You look in the mirror and count in your head all the flaws you see. One of these scenarios probably applies to you. With all the social media we are exposed to today you probably find yourself comparing your body or looks to someone else’s frequently. Comparison and self negativity are things so many teens struggle with today, including me. So I made a list of 5 tips that I have learned through friends, family, and some of my favorite Youtubers that I hope will help you love your body the way it is and become more confident!

Stop comparing yourself to others

This tip is probably the hardest to do, but also the most important. Comparing yourself to friends, influencers, or models will never do anything but cause you to be less confident. No one in the entire world has the “perfect body” and no one ever will. Standards for the “perfect body” are just things that we have accepted from what society tells us. Our differences and the unique bodies we were all given make us all beautiful and make us stand out from each other. So learn to appreciate the body that you were given and don’t let someone else’s beauty take away from your own!

Stop telling yourself negative things

Saying negative things about your body out loud or just in your head can be very damaging. Eventually, you will start to believe the things you tell yourself! It’s also damaging to say negative things about yourself to other people. If you point out your flaws, they will probably start thinking about their own flaws as well, and they may feel like they have to say something negative about themselves too. Next time you start to have a negative thought about your body, try to counter it with a positive one. Another way to get your brain on the right track is to say positive affirmations out loud. In the morning when you look in the mirror try saying a few things you like about yourself, or a few truths you want to believe. For example: “ I am worthy, I am loved, I am confident in myself.”

Wear things you feel good in

This tip is pretty self-explanatory. If you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t make you feel good, just get rid of it! You know what you feel best in, so don’t settle for anything less. If you know a certain style of bathing suit isn’t flattering on you, don’t buy that style, even if it’s popular. Wear things that are flattering to your body type, and try out different styles so you know what is and what isn’t.

Know that what you see on social media isn’t real life

A lot of times we feel bad about ourselves because of people we compare ourselves to on Instagram or Youtube or some other platform. But we really need to keep in mind that most pictures we see online are just the best of the best. Most people only post pictures where they’re smiling, looking their best, and having a good day. Instagram is not real life, it’s just the best of people’s lives. You don’t post pictures of yourself that you don’t like, and influencers and models usually don’t either. If you think that social media is becoming a toxic thing in your life, just take a break or delete the app! Even if it’s only for a few days or weeks, you may feel better about yourself when you come back to it or decide to never go back at all!

Surround yourself with people who boost your confidence

The friends you choose for yourself influence your life in many ways, and one of those could be the way you see yourself. If the people you chose to hang out with are making negative comments about your body, you need to confront them, and if they don’t change their ways, it may be time to step away from them. No one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself, and if someone is, you have the power to make them stop or move away from them. Your opinion about yourself is the most important, but sometimes other people’s opinions about us are the ones we dwell on. So it is very important that the people in your life are helping build your confidence and not tear it down.

Written by Emily L, Teen CHARGE Brand Rep